He felt like a one man threesome
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
