Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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