I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
