I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
