when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
