watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
