am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize