my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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