Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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