just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
