the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
