Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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