your room smells of hookers.
And success
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize