my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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