Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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