i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
