Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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