Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
id be glad to
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
