my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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