ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
