Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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