i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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