The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
