i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Bring me that man meat
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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