No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My vagina just recognized that song.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
