I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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