Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
