can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
