I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
