PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize