i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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