i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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