We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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