Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
