A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
