This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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