did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
