that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
