i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize