I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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