Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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