I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
