He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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