wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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