What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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