5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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