Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
