Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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