I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
