i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
