you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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