Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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