There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
