Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
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She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
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I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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