I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
