4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
