Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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