Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
