Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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