so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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