Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
