You don't have asthma, your pregnant
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
