Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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