sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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